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Dirty Little Limericks
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There was a young man of Devizes
Whose balls were of two different sizes
The one was so small'Twas nothing at all
But the other - it won several prizes!

She stood on the bridge at midnight,
her heart was all a quiver.
She gave a cough,her tits fell off,
and floated down the river.

There once was a couple named Kelly
who spent life belly to belly
for in their haste
they used library paste
instead of petrolium jelly

There once was a young man from Ayre
Who wanted to do something Dire.
He lighted the thatch of his Grandmothers
snatch.
Then laughed as she pissed out the fire.

There once was a girl named Alisha
who said if my pussy dont please ya
I' ll sell you my bum for the very same some
just watch out my tape worm dont seize ya.

There once was a soldier named Yates
He did a fandango on skates
He fell on his cutlass
Which rendered him "nutless"
And practically useless on dates!

A lady who lived in Darjeeling,
professed to lack sexual feeling.
A cynic named Boris,
tongue swiped her clitoris,
And they peeled her off of the ceiling!

There was a man from Brazil
Who invented the atomic pill.
His balls corroded his dick exploded
And his ass was found in Seville.

There was a young man from Kent
whose dick was so long that it bent.
He got into trouble
when he stuck it in doubled
and instead of coming, he went.

There was a young man from Bombay
Who modeled a cunt of of clay
But the heat of his prick
Turned the clay into brick
Which wore all his foreskin away.

There was a young man from Boston
Who drove around in an Austin
He had room for his ass
And a gallon of gas
But his nuts hung out and he lost 'em

Here i sit on the pooper
Giving birth to an ohio trooper

The night was dark, the sky was blue
down the alley the shit wagon flew
a bump was hit, a scream was heard
a man was killed by a flying turd

Little miss muffet sat on her tuffet
spreading her legs so wide
Along came a spider, looked up inside
her and said Damn that pussys wide

There was a young girl from Coles Hill
who tryed a dynamite stick for a thrill
they found her vagina in North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil.

In the days of old when men were bold and
rubbers were'nt invented, they wrapped a sock
around their cock, and babys were prevented!

There once was a man from Peru, who did'nt
what to do, so on his way to Venus, he played
with his penis,and ended up with a hand full
of goo!

There was a man from Wales
who lived on puke, snot,and snails,
when he couldn't get these,
he lived on the cheese, that
he picked from his dick with his nails...

There was a young man from Lachine
who invented a fucking machine,
both concave and convex-to suite either sex,
With a jug at the end for the cream.

There was a young fellow from Horsham
Who took off his balls to warsh 'em
His mother said Jack, if you don't put 'em back
I'll jump on the bastards and squash 'em!

Nymphomaniacal Alice
Used a dynamite stick for a phallus
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And her asshold in Buckingham Palace

There once was a man named Pitts
Who raised an acre of tits
They can up in the fall
Pink nipples and all
And he leisurely chewed them to bits

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