Absolutely Free Clean and Dirty Funny Bar Jokes and Humour

Home

INDEX

Short Drink Jokes

Long Drink Jokes

Q and A Jokes

Blonde Jokes

Bartender Jokes

Dirty Limericks

30 Ladies Sayings

Cards for all Occasions

Short Dirty Jokes

Mens Facts on Women

Q and A
------------------------------------------------

Click Here
ABSOLUTELY FREE
XXX PICS!

Q: Why did Al Gore get a nipple ring?
A: He heard that George Bush got a Dick Cheney.

Q. Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple?
A. Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.

Q: What's the difference between a beer and a booger?
A: A beer goes on the table, a booger goes under it.

Q. Why do women douche?
A. Because they can't get their vaginas to go Haaaaaaaaawk . . . .THOO!
  
Q. What do you call the sweat produced when two rednecks are having sex?
A. Relative humidity.

Q: What's the difference between Virginia and West Virginia?
A: In Virginia, Moosehead is a beer. In West Virginia, it's a misdemeanor.

Q: Did you hear about the new Greek tampon?
A: It's called "Abzorba the Leak."

Q. What's the difference between a woman and a coffin?
A. You come in one and go in the other

Q: How does a woman scare a gynaecologist?
A: By becoming a ventriloquist!

Q: What's got a 100 teeth and can hold back a huge monster?
A: John Holme's fly.

Q. What do lesbians call an open can of tuna?
A. Potpourri.

Q) How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
A) Stick it in the microwave until it's Bill Whithers!
 
Q. What drives a lesbian up the wall?
A. A crack in the ceiling.

Q: Why does the Avon lady walk funny?
A: Her lipstick.

Q: What's a beaver?
A: A furry little animal that hides in blue jeans and eats faces.

Q: What's the definition of "Tender Love?"
A: Two gays with hemorrhoids.

Q: Why was the young man upset when he got a sweater for Christmas?
A: He was hoping for a screamer or a moaner.

Q: How many screws are in a lesbian's bed?
A: None. It's all tongue and groove.
Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?
A: A wet nose.

Q: What's the difference between a penis and a prick?
A: A penis is fun, sexy and satisfying... A prick is the guy who owns it.

Q: What do you call a nurse with dirty knees?
A: The head Nurse!

Q. What do a farmer and a pimp have in common?
A. Both need a hoe to stay in business.

Q: Why are blonde men such bad lovers?
A: Because they are always waiting for the swelling to go down.

Q: What's the music format on WPMS?
A: Three weeks of the Blues, and one week of Ragtime.

Q: How do you know your mechanic has just had sex?
A: One of his fingers is clean.

 Q: Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
A: So she can moan with the other one.
 
Q: Why don't homosexuals like chess?
A: Because every so often, they have to sacrifice a queen.

Q: What do you call an eighty year old impotent sailor?
A: A salt with a dead weapon.

Q: Why did they call her "Queen of the sewers?"
A: She had the most accessible manhole cover. 

Q. Why did god make pubic hairs curly?
A. If they were straight they would poke your eyes out!

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.

Q: What do you call a dwarf eskimo with a hard-on?
A: Frigid Midget With A Rigid Digit!

Q. What kind of man makes a good lover?
A. A man who can breathe through his ears.

Q: How did the gynecologist know his patient was horny?
A: He read her lips.

Q: What's the definition of eternity?
A: From the time you cum, 'till the time he/she goes home.

Q. What's the difference between a young woman and an old woman?
A. A young one uses Vaseline; an old one uses Poli-Grip.

Q: What do you get when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over?
A: Dough Nuts!

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who was snorting nutrasweet?
A: She thought it was diet coke.

Q: What's the best way to get into a sleeping bag?
A: Wake her up first!

Q: How do you circumcise a whale?
A: You send down four-skin divers.

Q: What does an atheist shout when she's having an orgasm?
A: "Darwin! Oh, Darwin!"

Q: Did you hear about the 13 year old boy that got hold of his fathers' Viagra?
A: They rushed him to the hospital with 3rd degree burns on his hands.
  
The Answer: A Cockrobin.
The Question:  hat are you putting in my mouth, Batman?
           
Q: What did the hurricane say to the palm trees?
A: Hold on your nuts boys this aint no ordinary blow job!! 

Q: Why do women have vaginas?
A: So men will talk to them.

Q: What do you get when you cross a cock with a telephone pole?
A: A 10 ft cock reaching out to touch someone!

Q: How do you cancel a appointment at a sperm bank ?
A: Tell them you can't cum.

Q: Why do hippos shag underwater?
A: You try keeping a 9lb clitoris wet

 

Click Here
ABSOLUTELY FREE
XXX PICS!

Return to Home